Monday, April 24, 2006
LUVLUV
may 7th is annual airport day! jiahui my dear watch out i'm coming over, teehee. aaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***
There are a lot of things to like and dislike about the current situation. Happy dissatisfaction, mmhm..
The nice part is that there is a lot of peace around. Let me try to accord this more weight, at least paragraph wise. So, peace is obviously good. It is also exceptionally so, because it's relatively new. I think I'm still adjusting to the processes of creating and preserving it. It's a bit of a jam (ha! ha!) cos I'm lousy and sometimes this leads to:
The not-so-nice part, I think. Eg. the pressure to always decide correctly. Sweating the Smallest Stuff probably sums this up and the slope ain't no sweat-slip for nothin' YO.
Or, having to settle for less both ways.
Or trying not to beat self up.. and then convincing self nobody's to blame. I'm not too sure who buys this the whole thing, and it must be clear no human can knock sense into me obstinate self. It's grown to be such an evil(yn) cycle.. man I should be bigger than this. (See?)
Anyways, today, I shall lament fishbowls, seniority, underappreciated best intentions and my own temper. And neurosis. I think I miss having some room to make selfish choices. See post below re: growth, See archives re: stupid hangups, See also author re: irresponsibility.
***
OK. So much for that. Tomorrow's the day blahblah then Vacation, which means I have 2 days to get out of the funk, or risk being alternately noxious/deflated company, not to mention the general bad omen of kicking things off feebly.
Yeah 11 things to do this blasted holiday:
1. fit the vino gown two months premature.
2. mess with paints etc.
3. learn squash
4. do that mini triath thing
5. be committed (memorise soon)
6. hang out with little assortment of cousins and cheesecake. well it's nice they like me i guess.
7. make the cheesecake?
8. break a habit
9. maybe get out more.
10. ........ the usual apply. temper, pride, martyrdom etc.
11. ** new!! ** check tendency to.. to.. donno. be lousy, poisonous, wishy-washy 3-in-1. or it would unfortunately be 13 things to do, which is a no-no. See above generally re: bad omens.
***
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blah.
evelyn at 8:26 PM